If the World is Ending, Are You A Victim, A Hero, or a Villain?
Sadness brings me to this place, victim to my own anger, and villain to my own belief that a hero is coming.
I’m so sad that I try to bear the injustice of all humanity on my shoulders, the shoulders of this white man; identified as one among the many ruthless, power-hungry progenitors of the systematic problems now affecting all life on earth.
If it’s true that nothing can be done, that humanity’s unrelenting addiction to selfish pursuit cannot be mitigated, that no number of good-intentioned interventionists can affect a change drastic enough to alter our current course, then my conscious is forever doomed to ruminate over the answer to a most pressing question; should I stay or should I go?
Should I stay there is only more suffering to endure. The suffering of seeing the grand rejection and violent silencing of those like me, trying to bring peace. The suffering of the billions of humans subjected to creative slavery that perverts their potential and attitudes about life. The suffering of the planet, as it breaks and tears at our fingertips, leaving no energy source, no rare commodity, no potentially valuable tract un-owned, and un-exploited. Should I go, for me, all this suffering ends.
Should I stay and suffer in the bright light of truth, or go quietly in the night, a villain, a useless tool of consciousness, having seen the work needing to be done, and instead, turning to nothingness?
Should I stay and subject everyone I know, all my loved ones, to my brutal conviction, my grand charge of seeking justice, and distance those not ready, not willing, not interested in agreeing? Or, should I go and allow my message to be conveyed with a tsunami of pain, denying the opportunity to understand, rejecting the love of those who would try to change, and hurting those who deserve no more pain?
The choice has already been made today. It’s made every day, to continue, to stay, to suffer, and to know that any moment, with an unexpected wave of pain, I could choose otherwise, and bring calmness to this hurricane of tears.
The choice was made again today, to try. Why? Because change is possible only when we try. And yet, because I must try, I must also reject the conclusion that our worst nightmares for humanity are inevitable. I must reject the trends when they show hope has been lost. I must convey with full conviction the hope that heaven can be created, in spite of the reality that many are eager to burn it down. I must reject the truth when it proves that our aggressive natures have their own selfish agenda. I must be the fool, and bear the scorn, else I betray the purpose of trying.
Thus, for me, it does not matter what anyone believes about the future. I must bear the torch of hope, knowing that it’s fire is of the same nature as that which compels us to fight over our differences, consume all our resources, and care so little about life outside our own. It is true that peace is possible. It is true that things change for the better. It is true that humanity can, should it try, rise up from the suffering of survival, and shed the now useless skin of tough love.
It must be this way. Because the old way, the way of the white man, the way of the aggressive, selfish animal seeking to prove that survival is still a requirement for humanity, the way that tells a story of scarcity so that it can care less about others, that way is not the truth, and will never be my path.
I hear the voice inside me calling, my survival nature, telling me to give up, urging me to step off the ledge, warning me that it will never stop hating my peaceful nature, because it, like myself, does not want to die.
And so is our Human Condition. Our consciousness split between a dichotomy of survival and interconnectedness. What once kept us alive now threatens all life, and what now represents our greatest hope threatens our old ways of thinking and living. We are each in a story of a grand quest to save humanity, and must decide which character we will play; the victim that cannot heal without help, the hero trying to bring that help, or the villain, taking pleasure in the absurd challenge of it all.
For my part, I will play the Hero. At least for today.
